Even as you are clicking on this blog, I suspect you are battling both the curious urge to see what might make your life better and at minimum a speck of cynicism: there is so much content on nervous system regulation. It begs to question if it is another click-bait moment feeding a cultural obsession. Isn’t it just simply, cut back and don’t be on your devices so much?
Say hello to the various parts of you all screaming for the same need! Part of you is looking for better information and another part of you sees the irony that access to TOO much information might be part of the problem.
Collective Burnout
Social listening is hinting that we are collectively struggling with burnout. Life burnout. It could be from the actual intensity of our daily lives or it might just be the amplification of our stream-of-counsciousness through digital saturation. Just 10 minutes of scrolling can open a fire-hose of content seeking to “speak” to our private, internal journey. Great that we don’t have to feel alone. Or is it?
Global instability has been the norm for years now. Younger generations growing up in this instability are developing vastly different ways of coping from their parents. It no longer seems true that you can “think” your way out of things. Knowing about your anxiety won’t stop the panic attack. Even talking regularly with your therapist may not be enough to actually change your body’s response to stress. We are learning together that while managing our thoughts is critical, there is something going on with our biology that is undercutting our ability to show up and enjoy life.
While our organic equipment (think your nervous system) still has the same demands, the digital world around us just keeps speeding up. With each digital “tool”, we set our expectations for ourselves and others to yet another level. While we complain about clearing over 200 emails from our inbox, joke about sleeping for two hours, or even despair about loneliness (real lack of time for relationships), we are slowly realizing we may have a problem. We are not digital; our bodies operate within a context of time, connection and reflection.
Is regulation your missing link?
Chronic stress and dysregulation is truly the number one killer in our modern world. But don’t think of regulation as stopping your life. The other trend of escaping your career/your country/your relationship are often attempted solutions at regulation. Regulation is in fact a skill to slow down when you are ready to get off the highway, not to stop driving altogether.
Often the indications of dysregulation are feeling like you are moving too fast. But another response is completely freezing or shutting down. Let’s explore some of the ways our body alerts us that we are dysregulated.
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- The “Tired but Wired” Loop: You are exhausted, yet you can’t stop scrolling or stay asleep. Being unable to unwind isn’t just frustrating, it’s a sign that your body is stuck in high gear.
- Emotional Brittleness: Take notice when small daily inconveniences start to feel like personal catastrophes. You may find yourself upset about small moments, like dropping something or having to wait for a phone to upload.
- Physical Armor: If it’s impossible to let go of tension in your body, that will show up in chronic jaw clenching, elevated shoulders, or shallow breathing patterns. Maybe you forget if you are breathing, the diaphragm so tense that little movement exists.
- Brain Fog & Choice Fatigue: Struggling to think or to make simple decisions is not because you need another cup of coffee. When our prefrontal cortex is being “hijacked” by overstimulation and a stress response we don’t stand a chance at clear and quiet thinking.
- Sensory Overload: Sometimes the lights can seem too bright, the music too loud, or the tags on your clothes unbearable. Other times it is an irritability that we have no “excuse” for. Agitation and pressure might be banished from our thoughts (positive thinking, right?) but our bodies tell us the truth.
- Doom-scrolling your life away: Scrolling for hours without any interest in the content is a major red flag. Feeling checked-out or spaced is often more serious than just feeling amped up. The body is so desperate to get away, that your brain is going on a vacation without you. This is not a healthy way to cope although it is becoming a very common experience for people who are trying to get away from their stress.
Learning your regulation “fingerprint”
All the information on the internet is just more noise and pressure, until you know what solution you are searching for. What is calming for one person is over-stimulating for another.
Learn your exit signs
With the help of a close friend or therapist, take time to learn what it feels like to lose your way. When does your tone of voice, your energy, your mood tell you its all been too much? These are not always the moments to push yourself; they are often a critical time for a pause.
- Snapping at your partner
- Difficulty breathing
- Craving escape or “medication”
- The urge to check your email one more time
Build a Sensory Menu
Spend 15 minutes brainstorming the things that you crave, you miss, the things that seem to bring peace and joy. No matter how small these seem, they are markers of important journeys that you need to take.
- Do you need a shift in auditory stimulation? Maybe less noise or a fuzzy, indistinct brown-noise.
- Struggling to get motivated? Maybe you need a full day away from any schedule?
- Craving time in your favorite vacation spot on the beach? Maybe take a few moments in the sun and wind. Step outside and move, even for 10 minutes.
- Are you wanting to close your eyes? Maybe you need a reset for the optic nerve. Enjoying a sunset. Fasting from screens and working on paper. Face-to-face conversation with someone. Watching sun move across the carpet. A nap.
The key is don’t wait. Micro-dose your stillness rather than hoping you’ll have time for 60 minutes of yoga, or next week you’ll get away for a hike.
The new luxury is really not the newest technology; it is finding your way to a mind and body that are not always racing and buzzing. It is finding rest within your life before you have to rip-cord your way out of it.
