In case you hadn’t heard, Dr. Becky Kennedy has a new book on parenting called “Good Inside”. While there is no users manual or perfect solution for every situation, her book offers a powerful paradigm as well as useful tools you can apply. Julia Johnson, mental health therapist intern and mother of two gobbled the book and shares both her experience of the book and applying it at home.
Julia’s thoughts: “This, hands down, the best parenting book I’ve ever read. It combines understanding about childhood development with strategies for parents to look inside themselves while teaching their kids coping skills. Dr Becky covers everything you could ever want when it comes to dealing with problem behaviors. She teaches how to ground yourself so you can show up calmly for your child who is having a hard time. You will learn that behaviors are a window into a deeper problem, that deeply-feeling kids need different strategies, and a parent’s presence and love is what your child needs the MOST. I tabbed so many sections of this book and I will be referencing it often as I need a refresher, or a new problem arises.
A promising result: I (Julia) often struggle with my almost 3 year old having tantrums that threaten to burn the house down. She screams, stomps her feet, and becomes extremely obstinate. After reading a section in Good Inside about tantrums, I was able to take some deep breaths the next time she blew up. I showed her that I wasn’t leaving, while setting boundaries of “I won’t let you hit me” and holding her hands. I tried several strategies to ride out the tantrum but I found that humor worked best for my daughter. I asked her if she could stomp on the ground SO HARD. She said no, but wanted me to do it. So I pretended to be really mad and stomped my feet while making noises. This made her laugh. In the middle of a tantrum! This has become our best tool to de-escalate her from big feelings where she gets violent. “
Some additional nuggets that Julia might just end up quoting in session some day:
“Cultivating happiness is dependent on regulating distress.”
“It’s not too late to repair and connect with your kids and change the trajectory of their development.”
“…. when parents struggle with their kids, it almost always boils down to one of two problems: children don’t feel as connected to their parents as they want to, or children have some struggle or unmet need they feel alone with.”
Thanks, Dr. Becky and thanks Julia for the sneak peak of what’s “Good Inside”.
